He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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