My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
