what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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