loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
