She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
