carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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