I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
