these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
