Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
