I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Randomize
