Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
