matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
