I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
