Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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