You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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