Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
