Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the condom got lost in my hair
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
