Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
