Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
