I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
