you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
