you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
