It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
