It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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