Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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