Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
