You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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