my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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