Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
