She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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