i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
