for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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