I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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