there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I forgot wine drunk hurts
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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