I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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