Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
