nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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