Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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