If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
