Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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