I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
