Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
