true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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