You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
