Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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