i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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