Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
