Please, let me fuck your mom
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
