Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
