So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
